What can make a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally their intention.
A great parent doesn't need to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't mean that we should not work to that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then our children next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Listed here are ten suggestions that will help you be a much better parent, learn great parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Some aren't simple or fast.
It is not likely that any person is able to do them on a regular basis.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do a component of these tips in this parenting guide, you will be moving in the right direction if you keep working on them.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
So, be the person you want the child of yours to be - respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is simply no such thing as loving your child too much. To love them can't spoil them.
Just what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and not to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Give them good attention. Ride through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach your child the morals of what's right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm whenever you set rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to find out for the future in a positive manner, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as a person. Be a warm and safe place for your child to explore from and go back to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us know already the value of communication. Talk to the child of yours and also listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your kid may come for you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When various regions of the brain are incorporated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not need to offer solutions. You don't need to have all the answers to be an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us want to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a happy childhood may want to alter several aspects of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open our mouths, we speak just like the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you would get it done differently in a real scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Don't quit if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Give consideration to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as your own needs or maybe the health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. When you don't take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Make time to strengthen the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Don't hesitate to ask for parenting assistance. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in daily life, they are also far more likely to lead to oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline which have been proven to be more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in increasing a child?
If you're like most parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in college, be productive, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy positive associations along with you and some, be to care and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book https://parentinghowto.com/ of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Instead, find ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you focus on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a child and info which are backed by science, here is among my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. Even within the best parenting style, there can be many different effective parenting practices you can choose based on your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works ideal for your child.
Of course, you are able to also choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how strong their parents treat them. But it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we'll eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!